I’ve always envied people who have a clear-cut purpose in life. Those blessed souls who know their calling and always have; who wistfully recall the moment of childhood enlightenment – how, at three-years-old, they swooshed a flimsy paintbrush around the watercolour pallet and instantly *knew* they’d be an artist.
Those who set about pursuing their life’s purpose by achieving one quantifiable goal after another, well dang, I envy them even more.
I, on the other hand, have always been somewhat erratic in my pursuits.
As a child, the a-ha moment that would reveal my true talent – the one that would accompany me through life and take me to the top (of what exactly, I do not know) – simply never happened.
Not for lack of trying, I might add – there were the art classes and the ballet lessons and the constant tinkering away on the piano (not all at once, obviously – money doesn’t grow on parents’ backs, you know?!) And later, in high school, there was hockey and singing and writing for the school paper and desperately wanting to surf and punk rock and animals and bad poetry and a ring binder full of fashion designs I never showed anyone, but so wished I could bring to life.
There was also the ever-present hope that one of these sparks would finally ignite a wild passion in my soul. That it would consume me entirely and that I’d stop having to wonder so damn hard about my ‘path’.
But no one thing ever did.
Or has ever since.
And the fact that my purpose and calling continue to elude me drives me completely insane.
Then, while scrolling through Instagram the other day, I spotted a post by writer and cartoonist, Mari Andrew that made me realise: hey wait, actually… I’m not alone.
Other people feel exactly the way I do every day! And maybe – just maybe – in the end, we’d all be okay.
So, now, when I’m tempted to see my curiosity as a curse preventing me from discovering my true calling, I’m going to see it for the blessing it is instead. The blessing that has taken me on some crazy journeys and introduced me to immense beauty in the most ordinary places. The blessing that continues to inspire my work and will always push me to try just one more new hobby, and then another, and then a few more.
No, wait… let me rephrase.
From now on, when I’m tempted to see my curiosity as a curse, I’ll see it for the calling it is instead.