A terrible cake

You know how people always say you get two types of people? Those who can do this and those who can’t… or something along those lines.

Well, I’ve been working on a little “two types of people” analogy of my own and here it is:

In my mind, you get two types of people: those who can cook, and those who can bake.

Now, the ones who have a flare with cooking are typically free spirits and dreamers who love to experiment and explore and mix things up a little bit. They like adding pinches of nutmeg and cinnamon to stews and perhaps chopping up a chilli very finely to sprinkle over and mix into the chocolate sauce for dessert. Although an open recipe book on the kitchen counter may suggest that they’re following it to the tee, the truth is that they’re merely using it as a guideline, a set of rules – if you will – that they can’t help but bend, twist and break eeeever so slightly to mould the mediocre into a thing of fantasy and dreams.

As for the ones who bake. They are the stable ones. The neat ones. The ones whose lives are always organised perfectly and whose beds are always made. The ones who follow the recipe without letting a single grain of salt fall into the batter accidentally. And if it does, well, they know the exact antidote to balance it out. When their confectioneries leave the oven they are always exactly as they should be, or better – plump, crisp, melt-in-your mouth, brittle – whatever the recipe called for and more. Normally so much more!

And, then, I guess… you get those who can do both. The perfect blend of right and left. Yin and Yang. Feng and Shui. Batter and gravy. I am not one of those.

And, well, the truth is – despite my regular cupcake baking fantasies – I am no baker either.

So, I guess that makes me a cooker-up-a-stormer… and hey, I’m happy with that! But it doesn’t mean that I don’t wish I could bake the hell out of a custard cake, blackberry tart, peppermint crisp or just plain old batch of peanut butter cookies at times.

The sad fact of the matter just is that more often than not, this picture is the epitome of me and my baking sprees:


So, a word to the wise, if I ever invite you for tea… just say you will come for supper instead.


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